My Poem – “Hard” – Originally Entitled “Fourteen” – True Story

HARD

If only I had known
How tough it would be
to be jump-started daily
by a vacuum cleaner hose
Cracked over my legs
And Mom’s shrill tones
Yelling, accusing.
Frantic, I fall out of bed
still shaking and sweating
ice from being locked up
Alone, last night in the attic.

Hope crystallizes and evaporates
I love yous and hugs do not exist
Only the verbal machete, punctuated
by blows from my own baseball bat.
While somewhere, laughter echoes from
A joke only I could not grasp.

At school, peer pressure dealt me
another nerve-grating punch
Piercing and curious eyes surveyed me
But I said nothing, so they did not see.
I was left fated to search faces
for warmth, compassion,
Or the answer to Why?

I have no idea
what I have done
Or how to alter my face,
Voice, laugh, cheekbones,
Eyes, expressions,
Interests and friends –
Everything you despise.
If only I had known how
Hard living this life would be.

Terry Gibson 2012.

 

This poem was originally entitled “Fourteen” for my age at the time.

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3 Replies to “My Poem – “Hard” – Originally Entitled “Fourteen” – True Story

  1. So much said in such a short time, says so much without being a book. If you get the time or chance, read my book “April was here” I didn’t go through what you did but I do understand. Why so “HARD” for some but not for all? True joy is loving your children.

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